Since Easter, I've been thinking a lot about grace. We Christians talk a lot about this. We believe that Jesus lived as a man in order to conquer every temptation that we would ever encounter as a human, and then took on the initiator of all the temptation by his death on the cross. In his perfection, he became a human sacrifice, satisfying the wrath of a holy God dealing with his broken masterpiece. Jesus then was miraculously raised from the dead and restored to his original place, his home, in the heavenlies. In doing this, he presented me (me!) with the gift of grace, rightousness before God, free for the taking. Jesus says his grace is not only free, it sets me free. So, to truly live in freedom, I need to accept that I don't owe God anything. What?? But I owe God everything. Right??

Well, God says not. He says that through Jesus, he gifted me with freedom. Freedom to be myself and to live fully as who I am, Restored Righteous Version. With his Holy Spirit inhabiting me, he's not just walking beside me or going before me, helping me out. He is me. And I am him. Everywhere I go, there are the four of us. God, Jesus, Holy Spirit and me. That's amazing! So I just get to do what I do, treasuring the comfort of his presence and his present. Really? Be me and enjoy it to the max? But that's too easy! Too simple. Okay, it's simple... but not so easy for me to get used to. I'm so used to trying hard that I choose to make it hard just so I can feel a little better about myself.

Freedom is a truly safe place. I have sometimes heard teaching that led me to believe that God was somewhere just out of my sight, whispering instructions - plans that he had for me that I could barely hear but that he was expecting me to pick up and act upon. And, based on my ability to correctly hear and obey, he would evaluate if I was truly set up to please him. A little like a very serious treasure hunt, searching for clue after clue on some sort of mystery tour. And the prize was if I miraculously ended up on his front step at the end of the game. If you think about it, that's really not much of a dad.

It seems to me, based on what I know about love, that it's more likely that God is with me wherever I choose to go. And even if it feels like we're just wandering along, and not on some big mission to save the world, he's whispering to me his love and approval and his holy ideas, and I'm whispering my biggest secrets to him as we walk. And I realize that he not only loves me... he likes me. He chose me. He's enjoying this walk we're taking. When I do the wrong thing and fall down, his smile stays real. He doesn't go anywhere. And as long as I don't go anywhere, our togetherness is never even really interrupted. When I in my sorrow, look into his eyes (the one person who knows exactly how it feels to be me), the grace flows into the gap between us and again... and still... and always, all is well. 

And so we go....bringing grace, unearned kindness, everywhere we go. We get a lot of opportunities to use it.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will indeed be free”

- Jesus (John 8:36)